Contempt, intention, and "Christian love"

Yesterday an engaging conversation on this platform went sideways after I admitted I’m trans. That fact seemed relevant to the discussion, and the response clarified something for me.

The response included this passage: “Truth is objective and is not subject to our feelings. I may feel compassion toward you as a person, but … if I condone a position contrary to God’s created order. … love demands what is best for [you], even if it means stating that trying to live opposite to God’s design for men and women is wrong and will ultimately result in pain and judgment even if it feels comfortable now.”

I think it’s fair to say that most of the folks on this platform are Christians who identify as “conservative.” (Note: this post is NOT political; it is personal.) I assume you agree with me that the greatest command in all the Bible is “to love God with all our hearts, and minds, and strength, and will —and to love our neighbors as ourselves.”

I feel confident that the author’s intention was to love, but I don’t think it was love. The moral superiority implicit in this statement is inescapable. She didn’t ask a single question about what I believe or what my experience in life is. I said nothing about “feelings;” she assumed.

I love this platform. I’ve learned so much from Thomas; I appreciate him deeply. I enjoy seeing the support that people offer each other, and the kindness and generosity with which they share. We all have so much to learn from each other, to become the best writers and authors we can be, and, as Thomas says, “to write books worth talking about.” But this statement clarified that I’m an outsider here.

This must be what the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears at Simon’s banquet felt like.

Which brings me to Christian love — something I hear a lot about but don’t experience much.

Can you love someone and hold them in such contempt at the same time? (And yes, whether intended or not, it is contempt.)

I’d like to invite those of you who agree with the author’s statement to read Romans 12 and 13:8-14:23. I invite you to confront me, challenge me, ask me questions. Learn about me. Help me “bear my burdens” (Gal. 6:2). Don’t pity me or give me “compassion.” That’s all BS and I don’t need it. Ultimately I carry my burdens alone.

Don’t just dismiss me with the easy judgment that establishes me as less-than, worthless, and morally inferior, just because y’all don’t have to lift the cross that I carry every single minute of every single day of my life.