Marketing Psychology and blurbs: Is the second option of two favored?
I finished a fairytale retelling recently and posted two blurbs on my personal Facebook page and in a writers group and asked which one was the favorite. The first blurb was the longer one (231 words) and the second one was shorter (118 words). I was afraid blurb #2 was on the quirky side, so I wrote the longer one. To my surprise the vast majority said they preferred blurb #2. Those that elaborated stated that #2 was concise. One person said, “Blurb 2 for concise and eye-catching. Blurb 1 for making me invested in the story.” A couple of others said the same, so I posted the two in a fairytale reader group I’m a part of and swapped the order. They almost all said “blurb 2”—which was the minority “blurb 1” (long one) from the first round.
I’m curious if this is a factor of
1) The second of two versions is the favored in general
2) People were invested after reading blurb 1 and choose blurb 2 because they’d heard concise is good
3) There were more target readers in the fairytale group, so they chose the one with more detail, which set it apart from other “love stories” or “princess tests stories” as two commenter mentioned.
Have you noticed a similar phenomenon?
I may tweak them some, but based on the comments, I’m considering using the longer on Amazon for readers who read a lot fairytales want to know this one is unique and the short one for the paperback for those drawn to the cover (which is very pretty and genre-appropriate girl-in-a-pretty-dress).
The blurbs are below if you’re interested.
Blurb 1:
He has one month to find a bride. She’s terrified of falling in love—and is cursed to die of a broken heart.
Prince Murdock—Dox—must marry by his twenty-first birthday a month away, but with no bride in sight and fake princesses in abundance, his eccentric fairy godparents arrange a series of princess tests to help him find true love with a true princess. Though worried about what tests his godparents will concoct, Dox is much more comfortable scoring a test than risking falling for a pretty face with a black heart. His kingdom depends on his good sense, after all.
Princess Blythe shall die of a broken heart. Cursed with a glass heart and a prophecy of doom, Blythe has spent her life terrified of bumps, falls, sudden temperature changes, and falling in love. When a mad scientist intent on studying her one-of-a-kind heart forces her to flee the medical academy where she was a student, she’s determined to do whatever is necessary to return home. But the coachman who helps her escape isn’t who he seems, and the fae-enchantress who cursed her is looking to break more than a heart—she’s planning to break kingdoms.
Blythe must decide whether to cling to her fears and her cushions and continue home, or risk falls, life, and love to save kingdoms—and maybe win a prince’s hand in marriage.
Blurb 2:
Princess Blythe’s heart is made of glass, and someone’s out to break it—literally.
Princess Blythe’s greatest fear is a broken heart. Since her heart is made of glass, that fear generally revolves around bumps, falls, and sudden temperature changes. And eccentric surgeons bent on studying her one-of-a-kind ticker.
When Blythe escapes a dire situation with the help of a prince in disguise, she realizes there are more than physical ways to break a heart. Her prince is bound to marry the princess who passes a unique series of tests, but any one of those tests could kill her. And someone’s out to make sure that happens.
Will the prince break her heart, or will she win his?